Anxiety

It's so frustrating feeling anxiety
simply because you fear the feeling 
of not knowing. 
Not having the answers to all
your questions. 
Knowing that your flaws and insecurities
get the best of you, and
even though you try convincing yourself
you'll let things go, you just can't. 
You can't because your scared of losing the one
thing you love 
and cherish more than you ever have. 
The feeling of being lost in your
thoughts and not knowing how to escape it.

Essence of a gift

I was talking to my friend's six year old daughter yesterday. It was her birthday and I asked her what gift she would like. She paused for a second and goes, " Do you remember the set of paint-on stickers you had bought me earlier? I want those. They are so lovely, and I love painting on them"  I was quite surprised by this request. We are very close and this little girl was well within her rights to ask me whatever it is she wished for and I'd have bought it for her But no, she asked for a simple set of stickers that you can effectively get in any supermarket.


This really had me thinking the whole day! It is true ! Children don't really treasure gifts based on its monetary value. They cherish them for the simple purpose that someone got them a gift!!

If we are this way as kids, then when did we start turning into these strategic, manipulative adults who equate each gift to the amount of affection bestowed? 
" My boyfriend got me only got me a pair earrings for my birthday! " 
" My husband didn't buy me the diamond necklace i was looking for!" 
" My wife got me some tools that I already own!"

Gifts are supposed to be a way of showing someone that you care, that you saw something and thought of them - not the other way around! We should be able to take the time to think about what we want to gift someone for their birthday, anniversary, Christmas or any occasion. It is all about the thought and effort that goes into it rather than the cost. This cycle doesn't stop here. When we receive a gift, we try to figure out its monetary value because when the giftee becomes the gifter, we think we need to return in the same value or higher! Why? I mean why is there so much complications surrounding something as simple as a gesture of affection?

Businesses around the gifting industry is booming, no matter what the economic situation and we are getting sucked into that.

And do you know, what is worse, we are emulating by example so our children start learning these from us. They start taking it one step further and thing that they are entitled to gifts, not just on birthdays but on any day they please!

My request to all of us, let the childish innocence continue. Take the time to draw a card for your mother, father or anybody you love. Take the effort to search for that old book your sister was looking for. Take the time to stop buy and give your brother his guitar in person. And when you see  their eyes genuinely sparkle on opening your gift, you would know in your heart that it was indeed  beautiful and conveyed the essence of your heart!

A new journey

Its a new life and a new beginning...

A few weeks ago, I hadn't even imagined in the slightest that I could ever possibly so happy. This unexpected yet highly welcome turn of events has left me reeling in shock - good, positive shock, mind you! 

We never know what Providence plans or has in store for us. But when you do receive the present, it is most unexpected and blows your mind away.

Why all this philosophy, all of a sudden, you ask? Well, that is because, Providence has placed me in one such state. My happiness knows no boundaries and my heart overflows with feverish excitement..

With the blessings of parents, I am ready to step into a different dimension of life. Its a whole new experience and believe me, am I scared. Letting a stranger into your life, and sharing your private, intimate moments with him, will take a lot of strength  and courage from my side. It is for this strength and wisdom that I pray to the Almighty.

Here I am, rambling on and on with no mention whatsoever of my man! Wow!!! Feels so good to actually say those words.. Its funny how two people can belong to each other in such a short time.

You may ask me, what really made me fall for him? After all, we had a traditional meeting in the temple with our parents present ! The answer to your question would be, the confidence that he gave me! The belief that we two would be okay and he would be there to take care of me for the rest of my life.. And trust is not something that comes by easily these days and i prize it above many other things. 
So here we are starting our life on trust.

I wish, he would answer the same question for me. What did he really find so interesting in me that made him to say yes? Maybe this would be a discussion for a later date or occasion.. Lets wait for his answer. . .

Really on seventh heaven right now. Trying to understand the subtle changes that this new relationship is bringing about and most of all, trying to open out my whole heart to him